Why is it so hard to say those two little words? Even my almost two year-old crosses his arms in defiance when asked to apologize. Our sinful nature and our pride prohibits us for admitting we were wrong and seeking forgiveness.

While reading the book The Five Languages of Apology, I learned that being the mature responsible party in a parent-child relationship ultimately includes apologizing to my little one. “When we apologize, we accept responsibility for our behavior. Genuine apology opens the door to the possibility of forgiveness and reconciliation. Without apology, the quality of the relationship is diminished.”

My first epic apology to my kids came when my first son was around three years old. I was burnt out from constantly keeping track of and looking for everyone’s belongings. One hectic morning we were trying to leave the house but his shoes were missing. He followed me from room to room as I frantically searched the house, not being helpful, not even thinking about the last place he might have left them. My temper was rising, why on Earth does he only have one pair of shoes?!

Finally I found them, but instead of being grateful I angrily threw the shoes at his feet and yelled for him to put them on. His shocked and devastated face is still etched in my mind. He had never ever tried to put his shoes on before, and now he was crying and I felt terrible.

I wanted to say, “Honey, I’m sorry, but seriously, why can’t you keep track of your own shoes?!” Then I remembered the apology book, “Don’t apologize and then make excuses for your offense. Leave it at the apology.” Grrr… Here it goes, my first sincere apology, taking responsibility for my offense. I knelt down in front of him at eye level and gave him a true, heartfelt apology, validating his feelings. As I listed off different things he could be feeling I could see a weight being lifted off of him. He willingly threw himself in my arms. Best hug ever!

Proverbs 22:6 “Teach children how they should live and they will remember it all their lives.”

We don’t need to be perfect for our children because, thankfully, Jesus has already done that for us. Let’s face it, even young children can grasp that they are not perfect and understand their need for forgiveness. Part of training them to be mature responsible adults is to admit our own weaknesses and boldly apologize when we use harsh words and give unfair treatment.

The parent who sincerely apologizes to a child has increased that child’s respect for them. The offense is a barrier between the parent and the child. “When the parent apologizes, the child is typically ready to forgive. Some or our finest moments are when we apologize to our children.”

Prayer
God, it’s such a big responsibility raising these gifts you’ve given to us. Each child is so unique and special but it’s not easy for me to be a patent. It’s hard to admit when I fail, but I thank you for your constant forgiveness, grace and guidance. And please help me to love my little ones as you do.

Moment of Truth

I John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

 Reflect and Responded
This week when you apologize to your little one, leave out the word ‘but.’ It may feel awkward, but I know you can do it!

 Related Resources

• The Five Languages of Apology by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas